Parenting TRUM

This post is going to look a bit different. I think it’s still worth reading (I did write it, after all), but I’m just giving you a heads up.

No, the title is not a typo; I did not forget the “p” at the end. TRUM is an acronym that stands for “Thoughts, Ramblings, Useless information and Musings.” Matthew Berry is a senior fantasy sports analysts at ESPN and TRUM is an acronym he created to structure some of his columns when he has a bunch of things to write about but none big enough to fill up their own column. I’ve been compiling a number of these types of notes myself, so I figured I’d do a blog post TRUM-style.

The following are some random notes about being a parent of a toddler, being a parent in general, being a father, being a husband and probably a few other classifications.

–I have become keenly aware of how noisy our neighborhood is. It’s not just that it’s noisy, it’s that no one else seems to respect the fact that we have a toddler at home who needs to sleep. We live two blocks away from a hospital so we hear a lot of ambulances go by, often with sirens blaring. Every time I hear a siren or someone’s absurdly loud music or a dog barking or people yelling, I find myself muttering, “Shut up! Don’t you know we have a sleeping toddler here?”

–There does not seem to be a limit to the number of places Eitan can hide things. Of course, things end up under the couch, under the bed, etc., all the time. But we have a carpet in our living room and yesterday, when I walked over a bump, I thought the rubber non-skid sheet under it had just gotten rolled up. Turns out Eitan had put one of his toy plates under the rubber. 1

–One of the worst feelings in the world is when you get caught humming at work and you realize the song is Baby Bop’s “Yellow Blanket” from Barney the Dinosaur or the theme song from Dora the Explorer.

–More evidence that Eitan is Trudy’s child: not only will he help clean up by vacuuming or mopping, he’ll also throw things out in the garbage, put toys back in their boxes, put laundry in the machine, start the dishwasher and lug the bag of dirty diapers out to the garbage room in the hallway.

–If it’s possible, the feeling of getting kicked in the balls by a toddler hurts more when you’re asleep than it does when you’re awake. And yes, I have a frame of reference for both.

–If there’s anything I’ve learned from being a father, it’s that you always need to be paying attention, even in the middle of the night.  Last week, Eitan was having trouble sleeping (again), so at one point, instead of Trudy nursing him (again), I got up to put some milk in a bottle for him.  I poured in the milk, screwed on the cap and brought it back to bed2 so Trudy and I could feed it to him.  Trudy took off the plastic cap that covers the nipple and promptly poured milk right into Eitan’s face and all over the bed because I hadn’t realized there was no nipple on the bottle when I prepared it. It wasn’t so funny in the moment, but from what I hear, it provided lots of entertainment at the mom’s night out.

I think that’s it for now.  I’ll have another post ready at some point next week.  Hopefully Eitan will bless us with the opportunity to get a bit of sleep between now and then, although obviously I’ll have to do my part, as well, by not trying to drown him in the middle of the night, too.


1. Cut to my father nodding grimly as he remembers my youngest brother hiding his drivers license in the baseboard heater.

2. Yes, Eitan inevitably ends up in bed with us at night.  We’re hoping to reverse this trend starting next week.

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3 responses to “Parenting TRUM

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